My Apologies

I am so sorry for being a blogging deadbeat. I've been at a loss and struggling to find the angle I want to write (blog) from. I'm just going to enjoy the experience.... add a few posts and see where it goes! So.... please support me and don't be too judgmental as I find my inner Blogger!

In the words of Grandma Mabel "Thanks a Million!"

Is there such thing as an amicable breakup?

We've all been the one to do the deed as well as receive it... can a breakup be amicable when it's all over? As I ponder this thought, I can't help but to focus on it's source. I've been dumped. And I didn't like it.
I'm reminded of my dating record in the past year. My last few relationships were absolved by me. As far as I'm concerned, I was very kind and considerate to matters of the heart. However... I did ultimately say "I'm sorry, game over" which is an ego bash regardless. A few of those ex-lovers became hostile after the news. Now, I'm on the receiving end and eating a nice slice of Karma served cold! (almost as bad as revenge!)

In breakup land, my most recent detachment wasn't very severe by most standards. The relationship lasted a month and a half and was actually quite nice. We had dinners, movies, drinks, the usual dating sampler. Things were moving along at a nice medium pace... We had a few snags; areas that needed adjustment. "With open and honest communication" we can come together and meet in the middle. This has always been my motto so long as both parties are willing to invest. After a fun filled weekend and much needed time together (all on my dime), I was left with a nice goodbye kiss and promise for another day of dating bliss... or so I thought.

An hour later, I received a phone call. "It's just bad timing.... it isn't fair to you" Initially, I wasn't upset... trying to play it cool and understanding. I was flawless... and in a silly way, treated the phone call like an exit interview. I stated things I enjoyed like "I loved the way you nibbled on my ear" or "that face you made when...." Leaving the conversation with a "Take Care.... hope you have a nice life!"

It's been a little over 24 hours and I'm left with mixed emotions. I miss the little stuff that happened daily; The good morning texts, the afternoon phone calls, the thoughtful words that made the evening seem less drab. And... the excitement of making future plans with someone other than my cat. I keep replaying the weekend back.... trying to decipher what exactly happened. I didn't have time to prepare myself for the cut off.... I am left bewildered. After scouring my brain, It has become clear that the breakup was PREMEDITATED!!!

(Que dramatic music)

I would like to think that the weekend wasn't just a "One Last Hurrah..." but it truly seems to be the case?!? And... should I be angry? Again I ask "Is there such thing as an amicable breakup?" As a means of coping, do we naturally look for a negative when all is said and done? The exit interview was positive (if not hysterical) and things were left on good terms. My head and my heart are still reeling... trying to find barrings and understand exactly what happened!

Enlightenment....

I guess in the great cycle of life; dating and breakups, my number was up! I'm not sure if I will ever know exactly what went wrong... but I will always remember the hot sex! As for me, back to the drawing board and the pursuit of my soul mate. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason! let's face it, in a week (or two), I'm sure I wont even care......